Inside Supervision: Is It Safe Enough to Hold You?
- Komal Kaira
- Jul 9
- 3 min read
Fundamental to all therapeutic relationships is the safety that clients experience with a good-enough therapist. That safety, when offered consistently and securely, is one of the strongest indicators of whether a therapeutic relationship will be effective or not. But while we’re trained to offer this safety to clients, we don’t always demand it for ourselves. We shy away from calling out supervision spaces that feel unsafe. We find it easier to critique institutions or talk about difficult clients, than to admit that we’re not being held well as therapists.
I remember my first year of Master’s vividly. My supervisor spent an inordinate amount of time correcting my writing. Every week, she'd leave remarks like "This isn't a blog!" on the reflexive section of my fieldwork submissions. She wasn’t cruel, in fact she was incredibly knowledgeable. But she often missed the mark on what I was learning and holding in the field. And so, I began my journey as a therapist not feeling unique in my perspective but feeling lesser than. I dreaded supervision, not because my questions were ignored, but because it felt like I had to contort myself to fit into someone else’s idea of what a “good therapist” should be.
Her voice became mine. I improved, I overworked, I kept pushing. But underneath it all, I could hear my own inner voice growing more dismissive and punitive with every passing week. Later came the well-meaning supervisor. This one didn’t carry the same judgment. But she carried something else: disconnection. Often, she’d spend our supervision time reflecting on her own difficulties and forget the thread of my work entirely. I stayed for a year, blaming the pandemic, telling myself everyone was adjusting. Until a client once said to me: “Can you take up more space in this session?”
That landed like a jolt. I realized how deeply "invisibility" had become my default. And that’s what both those supervision experiences had in common, there was no room for me. Not the learning me, not the confused me, not the growing me.
Years of training, therapy, and supervision later, I now feel differently. Not all therapists are meant to supervise. And no matter how well-intentioned they may be, safety is non-negotiable. So if you’ve ever walked away from supervision feeling small, confused, or invisible, you’re not alone. And there’s a way to check whether your supervision space is actually serving you. The checklist below will help guide you.
Supervision Safety Checklist
Tick each one that feels true. Be radically honest with yourself , this is about how you're being held, not whether you're coping. At the end, tally your scores and use the scoring guide to asseswhat your scores mean
I feel safe bringing in doubts, unfinished thoughts, or emotionally vulnerable reflections.
My supervisor sees me as a whole person, not just a trainee to fix or correct.
I leave most supervision sessions feeling steadier, clearer, or more grounded.
Feedback is offered in a way that holds me, not critiques me.
I feel remembered , the supervisor tracks what I’m holding across sessions.
I don’t shrink or perform in supervision, I feel free to bring my full presence.
My emotional process is given space, not just the client’s or the theory.
My unique voice as a therapist is encouraged, not edited out.
The supervisory space feels consistent and attuned, not random or draining.
I feel I could safely raise concerns about the supervision process itself.
Scoring Guide
0–3 → Misattuned or unsafe. You may be shrinking here — not growing. Switching supervisors may be urgent.
4–7 → Needs direction. There is some holding, but also clear gaps between what you need and what’s being offered.
8–10 → Solid foundation. You are likely in a supervision space that holds, stretches, and reflects your growth.
Want to Take This Further?
I've created a downloadable Supervision Safety Checklist you can print, reflect with, or bring into your own supervision. It’s designed to sit alongside the re
flection prompts from Blog 1 and deepen your understanding of what kind of space actually supports your growth.
After years of disappearing, I learned to choose supervision that helped me show up fully. If you’re ready to do the same - here’s where to begin.
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